Statutory Warning !

                                                                             

Social Taboos : The Fight against our desires and Society !

   

We are surrounded by so many social taboos, some we pick and some we discard according to our own convenience.  At times we follow some hollow belief systems just because we have lived with them since ages. We are just accustomed to them; we do not even feel there is something wrong about it.  At times we do believe that there is something wrong with the rules and norms around us, but we do not care much to do anything about them as long as they are not affecting our lives. There are even moments when they are affecting our lives but sadly enough we do not have the courage to discard them away. Is it the fear of society that stops us to follow our heart or is it a fear deep down in our own hearts? Whom should we blame ..the society to be so strict on us or ourselves to hold back our consciousnesses within our weak selves? People come from their own school of believes... There is always a particular reason, why a person behaves in a particular manner. Everyone has their own experiences and their own philosophy! 

One cannot marry in the same caste, you cannot have romantic desires for your professor, you shouldn't dress-up a particular way, obey your elders, follow your rituals .. no matter how wrong and hollow they are. But as these are the rules set upon us by the society so we follow them without really questioning much. Some things have changed now … marrying in the same caste is not considered a taboo in many societies. People are changing, they do question their elders on their unjustified decisions, and rituals are not followed by the same intensity of disbelief. Things are changing! So there’s my point:  Things that are normal in our eyes now  .. were one’s a Taboo in our society! Thing’s we are ok with today .. were the problem grounds of yesterday. So who decides that matters which are acceptable today and are considered to be correct and were incorrect before? The same issues have a fresh outlook now. Where has it arrived from.. what changed suddenly?? Not the caste system .. not the relationships.. not the rituals .. It’s us! Things were same yesterday and are the same even today .. it’s us ..our broader perspective to life.  It was our way of thinking that was stinking somewhere .. it needed a space to breathe .. and we gave it some fresh air to flourish! But these are some trivial matters that have been resolved partially, still there are number of absurd norms around us.

 Ever wondered, who has written these unseen rules? Is there any rule book for them somewhere? Or we just accept them because we have seen others following them blindly and we are no different!  So even we decide to follow them blindly and become one with the blind and hypocrite society. We do not have the guts to question them ... rather we don’t even see a need to question them as it has not affected us so far. It’s the headache of the people who are suffering because of them. Until and unless we are not the victim, we will not raise a question .. let the sufferer  scream.. we are busy enjoying and listening to our favorite tunes.. woefully those screams doesn't affect us.. until it becomes ours!

We live in a broad-minded society, we have learnt to follow the west.. and yeah we've  become fashionable puppets.. Haven’t we? Taboos what are they? do they even exist in today's modern world? We are fashionable baby.. Aren't we baby? We are broad-minded and open to everything.. we boast in public that we aren't conservative and refuse to accept the same  issues in our personal lives, giving all the possible reasons we could think of. We try to hide and justify are cowardliness under the shadows of the same social taboos that we discarded and made fun of in public gatherings. As said earlier we are surrounded by many such taboos, which we pick or discard according to our own sweet convenience!

It's time to Learn from the Mistakes of our Past(Ancestors) and OPEN-UP!

LET ME FLY ...

                             

I can recall a moment, rather a very special moment of my life. I was sitting in my balcony and was wondering what I should do with my life. Is it really going the way as expected, the answer from deep inside was no, no it’s not going the way it should be going. Suddenly my thoughts were disturbed by a voice; it was my mother's voice. She called me to take a registry at my name from the postman standing at the gate. All the while when i was signing the forms.. my eyes were fixed on the envelope, it was so fascinating I was charmed to open it. I almost snatched it from the postman and opened it and found an invitation card from an art gallery. Was wondering who can send me that, but quitting that idea i started looking at the beautiful catalog. Normally I am never much interested in art and literature, but there was something too fascinating about this invitation card. The paintings in catalogue were saying something in itself, It made me go in a wonderland.. for the first time I could find a story in every piece of art. At that very moment, I made up my mind and decided to go to the exhibition "Life in Every Art", the name in itself had so much to say.

The whole night i was somehow charmed by this idea.. i closed my eyes and went off to sleep, so that the morning arrives fast. The next morning after gulping down my breakfast and bidding goodbye to my mom, I headed towards the art gallery. Along my way to the place.. I thought of the name again “Life in every Art" wow I said to myself. I smiled and kept the invitation card back into my bag. After a drive of about half an hour I finally reached the place. It was a very big hall painted in white, immense silence and peace i could feel when i entered there.People around were seeing the paintings with great attention and holding small discussions among themselves. I was new to such places.. did not know exactly what to do. Wandering from here to there, seeing one painting then another.. there was something that caught my attention. What a miracle it was, a master piece in one word. The painting was so beautiful there was just something about it, it knocked my brain, touched my heart, brushed my imaginations.. it aroused some thoughts in me.  I was surprised what was happening to me, I was gazing at the painting and  suddenly it drove me back to the time when I was sitting in the balcony and questioning myself. Here's the answer, said my mind .. I was taken aback and looked at the painting again. My mind said to me : Don't be surprised you heard me right .. here is the answer.    I ignored the thought ..but yet there was something about this painting, I could relate it to myself, I could finally relate it to my life. 

                     

The painting was very enchanting and it had a lot say. It had a story of its own like I said. The hands in the painting were tied, they wanted to be free and they wanted to fly. It was a lady’s hand, tied in chains, there was a little butterfly painted just above the hands. It was a very beautiful butterfly painted in different shades of blue and green. The background of the painting was in the shades of light brown, which helped the other colours to stand out and attract the viewer’s eyes. The picture was so communicative, as if the hands in the painting were trying to say open my chains and allow me to fly.. fly away  like this beautiful and colourful butterfly. Otherwise the painting was very dull, dull as her life, I considered it to be a lady with tied hands and a dull life. It seemed as if all she needed was to add a little colour and a little bit of happiness to her life. There was one thing very  ironical about the painting.. on one hand it showed happiness and freedom in form of the butterfly and on the other hand it showed distress and grief in form of the tied hands. It aroused some thoughts in my mind which I wanted to write down somewhere, might be in form of a poem or a small note.So I started to work upon the thoughts that were passing through my mind, it was just an idea which I wasn’t sure how to put down in words, but yet I tried my to give them a form .. a life .. a poem !

Let me fly .. yes you heard me right .. let me fly

I’ve come to this world with a purpose .. what purpose ?

A purpose to die ... yes we all are living to die one day.

Can dying be some one’s purpose of life .. yes it could be !

The world around us is dying ... um dying within my boundaries.

I hate this boundary marked around me .. um not allowed to move an inch.

There’s something called  a 'World' somewhere ... I want to go there ...

 I want to live and I want to fly.

I am tired of resting here .. seeing people come and go,

 gazing at me with their blue and green eyes .

Some say um beautiful ... some say um just another painter’s  fancy tool.

I want an identity .. it’s right I am a painting , just a piece of art.

But have you ever imagined ... even a piece of art .. could have a living story behind it.

Yes i am that living story ... I am you ... yes you heard me right .. I am YOU.


I am bounded not to move ... but look at you .. you have choose not to move.

Feel good to be human ... not a painted piece of shit ..

But you, you are more dead than me .. I still have a life .. i have a desire ..

A desire to fly .. a desire to be born .. a desire to be YOU and show you life.

Come once and feel my pain, my agony .. can make you insane

Come once feel my life ... if you have the guts .. come live my life.  

After reading this I realized the importance of life, the lost purpose of my life.. what was the purpose?  The purpose was to live! The following morning I went back to the gallery and bought that mystical painting. Years have passed to this incident  but even today when I look back at that painting I am motivated to lead a better life. Our life, our destiny, our ambition, freedom, happiness and prosperity everything is in our own hands. It’s just that we don’t realize it. We do not use our powers properly, we doubt our own decisions and capabilities!  

 Nature and art has a lot to teach us, it’s just we have to be a little more open to learn from non living things around us. Life and Art has a lot of similarities between them. Our life is our canvas and we have to choose the colours we want paint it up with. We can either make it dull or make it as bright as possible the choice is ours. 

I never thought just by changing our perspective we can change our priorities. Life is a learning experience and we can learn from any and every thing we come across. This little piece of art taught me so much, I suggest to everyone to be a little more receptive and you can gain wisdom from every aspect of nature.

After this wonderful experience, I have started paying visits to art galleries and exhibitions much more than I used too. I’ve always tried to explore and find more but I must admit there was something very unique about this painting. I could relate it to myself whereas the other paintings are just a beautiful form of art. They give a pleasing sense to my eyes but fail to reach to my soul.

Look out for that one motivation in your life .. that one connection ... that makes you feel the real YOU and  then wait and see the wonders it can do to you !!!!!!!

A Childhood Memory ...

Co-Worker, My Sister Jyoti Singh 

An extract of a childhood memory, 

the main character is ME – Preeti !

My Sister And Me ( Childhood @HPS )

Occasion : Outing with parents on a Sunday 

Venue : A hotel room in Dehradun (Uttarakhand)

Time Alloted : 10 am to 5 pm :(

Specially granted by the hostel authorities. 

We were allowed only on the alternate Sundays

EXT. PLAYGROUND. BOARDING SCHOOL. DUSK

Children are playing in their white and blue games uniform.

It's winter and sun is about to set.

A lady teacher walks upto a petite girl of about five who is

sitting in a circle of 'ringa ring'o roses' with a group of

students.

The teacher has another girl along with her who is holding

her hand.

TEACHER

Preeti Singh!

The girl looks at the teacher.

TEACHER (CONT'D)

You want to see the new mickey

mouse paintings we've got on the

dust-bin in the front lawn?

The girl looks baffled. She looks at the girl with the

teacher but she doesn't get any sign from her.

As she gets up from the circle to go, the girl next to her

whispers to her.

GIRL

I think your parents have come...

PREETI

But new students are not supposed

to meet their parents for two

months.. It's only been two weeks.

The girl just shrugs her shoulders and Preeti walks holding

the teacher's hand.

The teacher walks with the two girls, holding their hands,

towards the front lawn where an old man is drawing a mickey

mouse on the white dust-bin.

TEACHER

Don't you girls like Mickey Mouse?

PREETI

I like Donald Duck!

Preeti looks around as the teacher gets busy with showing the

different paints and brushes to the other girl.

Suddenly Preeti's eyes spot a few people in the principal's

office, across the lawn, looking at them. The office is far

and the dark iron-meshed door prevents her from seeing

inside. The view is very vague.

PREETI (CONT'D)

(shouts)

Mummyyyyy....

She leaves the hand of the teacher and starts to walk away,

but the teacher gets alarmed and holds her back.

The other girl into the direction Preeti's pointing and she

tries to run too when the painter holds her.

The girls continue to scream but the hands of their captors

are too strong.

Their gaze is fixed on the door, but there is to be no

movement behind the door and no one comes out.

They are both dragged from the gravel path, their feet barely

lifting, back to the playground.

The sun sets as the tears roll down on their cheeks.

Let Me Fly .. .. ! 

To be Continued.. .. 

Have you ever Questioned your BELIEVES ... ??

At times, when God doesn’t answers our call, we start to question his existence. .. Isn’t it?

Have you questioned the existence of God in your life? Well I have, many a times since childhood to today.  Who is God, does he exists, or it’s just our belief … ever tried to question your belief? Do have an answer to it? Is it some external source or just your inner voice that guides you? The answer is what your belief is- that what you call faith.

Since childhood, I have always prayed to God, be it waking up in the morning or going to bed at night.  From happiness to despair, from joy to fear, from greed to offering a charity, I’ve always remembered my Lord. But if I sit back and question, how many times was he really there? Ever thought of it. If not, then think today, think along with me. I am sharing with you a few of my real life incidents that led me to question the existence of God.

As a kid, I have been away from my parents. I was very young, I wanted to live with my parents, but I was destined to live in a boarding hostel, far away from the family life and the warmth which you get from your elders.  I remember a day, when we were supposed to go to church and ask God for granting our prayers. I was just a kid; all I could think off at that moment was to get back home. I offered to God that I will skip all my meals the next day, in order to serve him and will not be bad to anyone. The next day I went to school, I behaved as a good child, I helped my fellow mates. I did not cheat in any of the assignments. I did all my homework properly. I did not have a single grain in the whole day. I slept in the night, hoping that the next morning will bring a happy news that my parents are there to take me back home. But it did not happen, I kept on thinking, where was I wrong, didn’t I pray properly? Did I cheat in any of my assignments, was I bad to any of my friend? There was just one answer to it – No; I did not break my promise. I did not perform any misdeed. So, then what went wrong?  If I ask a friend a favor, he helps me, when I ask my teacher a question she replies back to me. Then, why not God? I have never even seen him either is he really there, does he exist? These were the kind of questions that kept on haunting me for the whole day. Then time passed, I forgot all. Again my life was back to the same routine. I got up, worshiped God, did my work, used to come back home, say my daily prayers and went off to sleep.

Until many days, I followed the same routine, it never even occurred to my mind to question the existence of God, Who has the time to do that in today’s busy world where you are always pre occupied by something or the other. But then I faced something totally unforgettable. I still feel so uneasy, when I have to recall that terrible incident. It gives me shivers.. I thought of this event as the answer to my question pertaining God’s existence, but little did I know that there were more to come.

 This was the death of my matron, Mrs. Moore, who spent all her life praising to God, taught us about the rights and wrongs of life, taught us to believe in God, follow him and the rituals. But her unfortunate death, made me think something else only I was disheartened seeing her dead body in front of my eyes. My trust started fading away.

I wasn’t her favorite. In fact, I doubt if she even knew my name, but when she succumbed to cancer after fighting for over month as we prayed for her everyday, I had to question the power of prayers and whom was it directed to. She gave her life in service of his teachings; she was a missionary Anglo-Indian by birth. Why did she have to go through cancer in order to finally meet her creator? What could she possibly have done to deserve such a painful death? That was also the first incident of death I saw so closely. I was only fourteen. In my young mind it did not make any sense- dying of a saint. I cried for the whole day when I learnt the terrible news that she had finally left us. She was a mother figure to us. She loved us and reprimanded us. She had a sunny disposition and a sharp sense of humor. There were words in Hindi that she couldn’t pronounce well and we made fun of her. All the bittersweet memories came rushing about a person who would never walk through those corridors again. She was gone and the finality of death and fragility of life had never been clearer to me. I debated in my mind if this was the end of everything then how did the wrong and the right matter? Why live an honest life and admit to guilt and go through penance if nothing mattered in the end. A crook and an honest soul both end up dying of cancer? That day I was sure there was nothing called God and everything was a happen-stance.

Soon after the death, we came back to our normal schedule and the memory faded. All it took was a month to forget the memory of that grand woman. We remembered her in our prayers for a few sessions at the chapel and then we forgot about her. It seemed like offering prayers were just rituals that we had taken to because we didn’t know what else to do. I was young and became sure there was no God for why would a God be so cruel if we were his children? However, this thought never really occupied much of my conscious thinking as a child after that event.

Many years passed. It was a beautiful night. I wasn’t a child anymore, but I was once again hit by the same question. It was my friend Radhika’s wedding.  

We all were eagerly waiting for the ceremony to start. The ambience was looking so beautiful. Everything was glittering like stars, it was so charming to look around. I was very excited and happy for Radhika. We all were waiting very anxiously for her arrival but suddenly we heard people shouting at top of their voices. There was a short circuit, which lead to fire. Hearing and seeing it everyone started running here and there. The happy and charming place, which had so much positive energy around it, wasn't the same any more. Just a few moments before it was twinkling like bright stars, but now it was just a shattered place, with the sparkles of fire that had destroyed the pious place. We all had to run back home to save our lives. No one was anymore concerned about the purpose that brought them to the place. No one was thinking about the marriage, the place or the bride. The function ended even before it started.

After a few days I came to know that the marriage was called off as it was hard for the poor father to make the arrangements again, he already took a loan to sponsor the marriage, but all went into vain. I was so disappointed listening to it but what could have I done, it was all God’s will. One question kept on disturbing me for years that why God’s will is always so harsh, is he really there and is he really seeing the pain of people who worship him day and night.

As life moved on and I grew up, after seeing so much I realized that accidents, death and birth are just an inevitable part of life, God wasn’t cruel, it all happened the way it had to happen. Radhika, my friend even she got a better proposal and is very happily settled in Mauritius. There was a new school opened in the memory of my matron. I am living with my parents today and they did a right thing by sending me to hostel as I am a better human being today. Such outcomes made me question my own mistrust in God? Was I being fair in blaming him for all the misfortunes? If there would just be happiness around, will we really know the true worth of it? The answer is no, we would not be able to realize the full pleasure of harmony if we haven’t been disturbed ever in our lives. So as a result of so many good and bad experiences of life, I have somehow realized my mistake.  Just think once, if you have bad days.. you have good days too. But why is it so, that we only blame God for the bad and never thank him for the good? There is so much beauty around, I am blessed with so many things that others still crave for. After seeing the other side of the picture now I feel that God is there, he is there for all of us. It’s just that we have to believe in him, not question him. He is there, he is everywhere. We just have to open our hearts and mind to feel him.

To end up my experience I would like to say that, there is a very famous saying, “God answers your prayer in three ways: He says yes and gives you what you want, he says no and gives you better. Or, he says wait and gives you the best ever.

Do believe in God he has always been there, whether he answers you today or not, He will answer your prayers at the right moment. Be patient, give time and all your worries would be wiped away. God is there to hear you and answer your call believe in him and never question his existence!